Happy birthday!! You turn 81 today.
81!
Can you believe it? Last time I saw you, you looked amazing. And that was only 2 years ago, so I’m guessing that you would still be pretty hot for an 81 year old.
81. I can’t get over the number, mom. I bet you would probably roll your eyes and shush me before anyone heard it…your age. Too bad it’s out and in the open now.
Since you left, I’ve been thinking a lot about life, age, health…the big questions, ya’ know? I don’t think I’ll make it that far, who know’s? I DO know that if I do make it past 79…I will NOT look as good as you (that skin!) or act as “young” as you (where did you get that energy?).
It doesn’t matter. I’m learning not to look past today (STOP! I can hear you laughing and saying ‘Yeah, right!’) At least I’m trying.
So, this year…this past year…one more year you missed (I know, it wasn’t your fault) many things have happened. We had another tragedy, another terrible loss in our family. Actually, had you been here it would have devastated you. I’m not sure you could handle that pain.
We also had some good things. The kids are growing up, driving me crazy, but filling my days with…well…all sorts of things. LOL. G, your little girl, remember? She’s growing, and she thinks about you all the time. I know she struggles with your absence, but it warms my heart to see how she is still connected to you. She suffers, but she is learning to navigate this grief.
I have a few plans of my own…some exciting things coming up for MIGHTY Alba and L.O.Martins. Let’s see where this all goes.
So, this was the year in a nutshell (or what I want to publicly share)…but the main point is that we still miss you – we always will – and it still hurts. Oh, it hurts so much. It’s the loneliness, you know? I think you would understand…now I remember you said similar things when you lost grandma. I understand you better now, even if I wish I didn’t have to.
But damn, I’m sure you would still be looking A-M-A-Z-I-N-G at 81!
So… happy birthday, mom.
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